So I have a confession to make.
H2B and I have been out EVERY night this week, and that means no blogging, and that means spending money we don’t really have right now, and that also means consuming a LOT of wine.
Which means not a lot of keeping up to date with anything, let alone blogging. My laundry pile has grown to gargantuan proportions, and I don’t remember the last time I cooked a meal (honestly, I did cook last night, but I was a little tipsy).
So what is to blame for this silly week?
I’d like to blame the bad habit we’ve accumulated over the week on a stressful day at work, or the nice weather drawing us out, but really I think we needed to time to sit together, with no distractions and talk. Really talk. Our lives are shifting at such a pace right now, both together and individually and it is sometimes hard to keep up.
Sometimes hard to just ‘be’ when there are so many distractions in the home. Laundry, cooking, H2B’s ‘Home Office’ which is literally in the center OF our home, there is no escaping it. ~ I really prefer it this way because it means that even when is working late, he isn’t locked away in some tiny room out of sight.
H2B is trying to decide what direction he wants to move in for work, yet the work is literally pouring in, so his focus and energy is totally consumed in what he does really well and makes a great living from, but not what he necessarily wants to do. I came to realize this week that I feel for him so much, and I forget this about husbands and men in general that there is no end in sight until they retire, or earn a killer living and can retire early!
All I have ever dreamed of is being a Wife and a Mother, and I feel so fortunate that I am that little bit closer to fulfilling my OWN dream of being a SAHM, and supporting my Husband, but for him, he will ALWAYS need to work, and he really should enjoy what he does to keep food on our table and a roof over our heads.
I love him with all my heart for making this commitment with me, for me, and an even greater commitment to look after me for the rest of our lives. I thank God that this is the man that I am destined to spend the rest of my life with. He is such a gift. (Sorry for the gushing, I have just had such a crazy emotional week).
This brings me to ‘me’. I feel like I have Wedding mania, and it isn’t even over my own. We have a few Weddings, Bachelorettes/Hens/Stags/Bachelor parties to attend between now and the end of the summer and it consumes quite a lot of your weekends running errands, performing Maid of Honor duties and everything in between. Not to mention the fact that I am not even going to try to explain how I feel about not being able to plan my own Wedding at the moment. (Take a guess at sad, look in the Thesaurus and go from there).
Blogging is supposed to be some sort of therapy or so I am told. I’m just putting this out there into the world that I am in Wedding limbo. I have the Groom; I even have the dress, but anything else? Nope…..
But I will, one day, when it is ‘our’ turn, and until then I shall try to savor every moment and try more to live for the now, and not always for the future. I won’t be engaged forever, I will be a Wife one day, and God willing, a Mother – I might miss these days when they are gone! ;o)
I hope you all have a lovely weekend – I will be flying kites with my two favorite boys.
Lots of love