Or 15lbs before you have to hit the beach this Summer? In a bikini!? *DREAD*

Is it wrong to admire images from the Victoria’s Secret Swimsuit Preview and wish that you had a body like this?

Is it so wrong to want an amazing body at 40+ like Jennifer Aniston’s.

Is it so wrong to also be hating on her BFF for looking similarly H.O.T at the same age?

Would you not want to be photoshopped like Kate Winslet if you had to be on the front cover of a magazine? (she didn’t need it at all in my opinion – at all).

Is it so wrong to have a Pinterest pin board with inspirational weight loss quote?

And work out ideas?

Have you pinned something similar? I have…

Do we need to ALWAYS blame men for making us feel so insecure about our bodies?

Or the media for their portrayal of women that we should ALWAYS look beautiful first thing in the morning?

Or do we pressure ourselves?

Do our friends pressure us?

Does the Fashion Industry pressure us?

FYI Karl Lagerfeld – at least you are honest about the fact that you ‘make clothes for thin women’.  You have been quoted for saying this on several occasions now. What is so wrong about honesty these days?  We all need a market to cater for, a market to shop.  Just find what fits, stay away from what you don’t like.  Targeting someone directly however (Adele) was not on…

I agree, that the idea of thinspiration can be taken TOO far.  Photoshopping can be taken TOO far.  I am looking at YOU Ralph Lauren.  What a joke.

But what would you rather aspire to when thinking about your body? Your eating habits and your workout regime?

Would you paste up a picture of a slim, toned Victoria’s Secret model or would that be ‘wrong’?  Have you been made to feel wrong about it?

I’m not entirely sure how to end this post without p*ss**g someone off.  This wasn’t meant to offend, it’s just that the question arose in my head earlier today.

Is it wrong that *I*, a woman of 26 years old want to hold an image in my head of what I aspire my body to look like without someone taking the blame that I have been brainwashed, and am seeking out some unhealthy distorted image that I cannot obtain?  Am I on the verge of an eating disorder?  Heck no!

Does anyone else have some sort of ‘thinspiration’ – a.k.a, fitness and health goals?

Those ‘skinny’ jeans (total opposite to your fat jeans) in your closet probably count.  As well as that dress you bought 2 sizes to small to “slim into”.

I’ve just got a bad feeling that the media and all reports I read from so called ‘experts’ claim that this is a really unhealthy attitude to have on my self-image and self-worth.

Doesn’t feel all that bad to me.  Especially if I live with the hope that I can rock an ass like J.Aniston’s at 40+.

Bring it ON thinspiration if it means I’ll actually attend a fitness class once in my life, or step away from the donuts.

Skin Cancer people!

Yes it CAN happen to you, and it can happen to you if you are in your early 20’s as it did to me. It can also happen to people who stay OUT of the sun. Anyway, less of the preaching – back to the point of the post.

Why Oh Why am I never aware of impending potential embarrassment moments, and why do I not know that I shouldn’t wear big knickers!? After 3 years of outpatient appointments where it mainly went like this;

Nurse: “Any significant changes with any of your moles, or any concerns”?
Me: “No, all is fine thank you, but perhaps check this one just in case”
Nurse: “That looks fine to me, Ok, thanks for coming, see you in 6 months”.

Today it went like this

Nurse: “Please strip down to your underwear, I’ll be back in the room in a minute”…

My thoughts – Blind panic people, utter blind panic!!

Unshaven, mismatching and BIG OLD KNICKERS! That was all I could think about. I’d rather she demand I get totally naked hang about in the waiting room, that would have been better than having her witness the car crash that was my 7am underwear selection and decision not to shave my legs for a few weeks – yahknow, because it is already winter in the UK, and what really is the point?

We are talking black lacy push up bra, white BIG knickers in some sort of (ridiculously comfortable but completely unsexy) 120 denier stretch fabric that had gone slightly gray after one wash too many and baby pink cable knit socks.

Yes, it was just one of those moments. I dutifully removed all outer clothing and sat there for an eternity waiting for the shame to hit me smack in the face.

Once she reappeared all I could do was to laugh brazenly and make a joke of myself and ‘The Underwear Situation’.

Nurse? Yep, she had a good old hearty laugh at my expense. So much that I thought she might hyperventilate.

Thank you NHS, I’ll be here all week.

As soon as I was out there I had to call my Mom, no one could better understand this situation. There was no one else I could share this with who would practically heave down the phone in disgust. Yep, my Mom literally HEAVES if I tell her that my underwear doesn’t match. I find it hilarious.com.

So, really, at the end of the day, I am over it. I made my Mum heave in revulsion (always funny) and I have learnt a few lessons and will now preach a la Baz Luhrmann.

Wear sunscreen
Wear matching underwear to appointments with your Doctor
Shave
Dance the funky chicken if you find yourself exposed in bad underwear
Never Goggle BIG underwear again, it’ll burn your eyeballs with horrific images into your brain that nothing can remove, stuck with you for life, sister.
Go for it Baz (Love, love, LOVE this song)

And just in case you wanted some big underwear, how about these beauties?

I am off to Marks & Spencer to stock up on some Bridget Jones’.

What is your underwear related horror story?

Hopefully normal blogging will resume soon – once I have convalesced entirely.

Hey guys! I just realized I’ve been MIA since last week’s kick-off of the 30 Day Shred Challenge. Don’t worry I didn’t drop dead from the 30 Day Shred Challenge, although I thought I might, I’ve just been super busy!

This is what has been happening down at Stepford HQ.

In the space of a weekend, the Mr and I have swapped out our bedroom for the little boy’s – he is now in our Master (but deceptively small) bedroom WITH en suite I might add, but in our new room we now have built in wardrobes and 3 floor to ceiling sash windows leading out on to the Garden, PLUS I finally have a vanity table – I got so sick of standing up to do my make-up and hair (I know, lazy much)?… It isn’t all that bad, our family bathroom is right next door, and we are further down the hall from the living area, so when the Mr has his midnight ‘Playstation and Xbox’ sessions, I can get a better night sleep.

Trying to get a Superking bed down a narrow Georgian building hallway is quite funny though, especially when performed by a 6ft tall very muscular man and his shorter and not as strong wimp of a fiancée – PLUS a cat who had to be shut away in the living room so that we didn’t trample her, who made the most noise ever in her life crying and miaowing and all sorts. I think she wanted to join in with all the fun!

I also went to 2 concerts back to back this weekend for work (I love the perks of my job). They were outdoor concerts and the weather held out which was great. The Mr and I went to the first night, a Russell Watson concert (English classical singer for those who don’t have a scooby who he is) and we had a picnic under the stars. He sang so many songs from Phantom of the Opera and I just about wanted to cry. It is my favorite musical and the music haunts me – so romantic.

The second night was an Alexandra Burke and Rebecca Ferguson concert – the winner and runner-up in the ‘X Factor’, (like American Idol), I took my Mom along to this one as it was more of her kind of thing. We had lots of fun and Sunday was SO hot! Mom was doing all sorts of crazy dancing in the crowd. I love that I have a young and eccentric Mom.

I also got my new car yesterday! So exciting! We picked it up last night, and the journey was an hour each way, me having to drive my new car home, on my own! I don’t know why but I always get nervous driving cars I am not used to. Well, this car I LOVE, it is just so much bigger than my last! I always feel safer in larger ‘cruiser’ style automobiles and pick-ups. You could fit about 3 people in the trunk of this car, plus a week’s worth of groceries. I have already sized it up for a pram/stroller!

This isn’t the ‘actual’ car of course – but this is the model I got.

30 Day Shred update – waffle, waffle, waffle….I got here eventually.

Go here for my ‘before’ pictures.

So here’s an update on the 30 Day Shred. Last Friday was the first day of the “30 Day Shred”. I really did better than I thought I would, although the push-ups killed me! I think I managed 2 before I decided that nope, sorry Jillian, I just can’t do them for you. I got through right to the end of the workout though and was absolutely sweating! It was gross. I felt elated when I was done and wanted to cry I was so proud of myself. The cardio was ok but I could do much better, I got through that and I did really good at the strength (not the push-ups though) and the floor work such as sit ups were a breeze. I didn’t feel bad after at all and was really pumped for …..

Saturday… I shredded in the late-morning (weekends often consist of lazy coffee and pyjama mornings in the Stepford household). I managed all the way though again, although this time I only managed 3 push-ups. I will get there! Then I stretched and went about my day..

Hang on…. I stretched!? Err, something about that isn’t true.

At the end of the workout, Jillian gets you to sit in a sideways ‘split’ position on the floor to stretch which is all very well and good, but there is NO stretch included for the calves. This is after doing about 444,444 jumping jacks and ‘skipping rope’ (which, by the way, kills)!

My advice to you if you are planning on doing the 30 Day Shred Challenge is to STRETCH ON YOUR OWN. Don’t just take it verbatim and only do the stretches included with the workout. They just aren’t enough.

You’ll end up not able to take the stairs like me, and go to a work function/concert hobbling like a weirdo.

So the update really here is that after 2 shreds, I had to give myself a rest. Not because I was lazy, in fact I was totally psyched, but because I couldn’t physically do it. Its and idea to perhaps suppliment the 30 Day Shred with some form of gentle exercise regime such as Yoga or Pilates. I am going to try and fit this into my schedule as well.

Naughty, naughty non-stretching Jillian Michaels.

So – the 30 day shred begins again tonight.

I thought I’d share this funny photo with you. We have a whiteboard still on the wall in our bedroom from when it was the boys’ room and I put up a 30 day shred chart so I could count down ‘prison style’. Mr. S made the ‘adjustments’ which meant erasing the zero in 30, plus the sarcastic red annotation. I love his sense of humor.

I might keep this whiteboard on the wall – it is great for writing each other little love notes or silly messages.

*UPDATE – err, Mr. S and I are going on a last minute week’s vacation on the 13th July, so this is actually going to end up being a 30 Day Shred Challenge – with a hiatus of 7 days.

Now officially re-named the 37 Day Shred Challenge – Mrs. Stepford’s way.

This image links to the 30 Day Shred if you want to find out more and read other people’s results.

I am NOT doing the 30 Day Shred or any form of exercising on vacation (it is illegal don’t you know), plus, I think this is a little more realistic wouldn’t you say!?

I have really been struggling with my weight recently, and have tried several methods in order to shift the pounds, and this image is proof of just what I am willing to try.

I am not really a big fan of diets, I just like my food too much – not junk food however – I like proper wholesome home cooked food, packed full of flavour and crammed full of all sorts of yummy things. Sometimes these things aren’t all that healthy for you. It was even suggested in a book I read recently, that according to my blood type, I should avoid tomatoes, and well, if you knew me, that particular diet was a non-starter. I could not live without my tomatoes, they are one of my absolute favourite foods, and well – what healthy diet would suggest you AVOID vegetables? Or are they a fruit?

So, this is my new arsenal for shifting the pounds. All of these items are currently in my possession and have been for quite a while, some tried and tested, others not even touched.

I am going to be doing Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred Challenge.

I know that many people have covered, and reviewed it all before and this may sound like a broken record to you, but I MUST do it. My normal routine where the only exercise I did was gentle, as covered in my review of Element Ballet Conditioning, I need to step up my game. In 35 days (more than 30 days is a bonus) I am Maid of Honor at my childhood friends’ wedding, and well, the dress she picked out doesn’t look that nice on me. I need to do all I can to trim down a little before then.

I am not going to set myself unrealistic goals, because they just don’t work, but what I will do is track my progress every 10 days as set out on the program as there are 3 steps in the 30 day shred challenge where you step it up a notch every 10 days – so it’ll get harder!

I am going to measure in inches lost as opposed to pounds on a 1-daily basis during the 30 Day Shred Challenge, as I think I’ll see better results this way as I’ll hopefully be building lean muscle, which we know weighs more than fat, as well as maybe keeping a food diary. I am going to try hard to only weigh myself at the end of the challenge.

So, my arsenal for my 30 day shred challenge is as follows;

Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred.

This is ‘the’ cult exercise program by that crazy coot from The Biggest Loser, by golly she scares me, but I have heard it works and it is my turn to try this out. I think it might kill me, but I really think this is the right way to go. I hate the thought of being shouted at through my own television, but frankly I haven’t really been motivating or keeping myself in-check over the last 6 months!

Allen Carr’s – Easyweigh to Lose Weight.

I read this back when I was in college, and it really made me sit up and think about what I eat mindlessly and why. I love reading books that get to the absolute core of WHY you are eating what you are eating, not just telling you what you can and can’t eat. I lost this copy during several moves in and out of my parent’s house between college and moving in with the Mr. So when my Mom handed this to me the other day after having sorted out her garage I took it as a sign. Try this book, I can promise you that it will dramatically change the way that you think about your body and what it deserves.

This is the reason I may keep a food diary, just to be able to see visually the choices I have been making and how/if they have changed as I get fitter and healthier.

Rory Freedman & Kim Barnouin – Skinny Bitch

I know, an absolute shocker, BUT as extreme as it may be, I have heard that it gives you great enlightenment into what is in what we call “food”, why our bodies reject certain things and also to just give myself a little tough love through the authors’ words. I doubt I’ll do the whole vegan thing, because frankly, I think Mr. S would start crying a corner somewhere if I cut meat and cheese from our meals, but I will certainly look to cut out a few bad things from my diet with some good old nasty facts behind me to justify it.

My tape measure

Everyone has one of these, surely!?

My weighing scales

Which I will avoid until the 30th day! I am going to pack them away until then – they torture me anyway.

My Reebok weights

These ones are only very light about 1lbs or so each, but I have heard that is good if you want to build lean muscle instead of bulk up.

Last but not least, my food diary*. *Which I forgot to picture!

Click on any of the images above from my ‘arsenal’ to read reviews etc.

So, to begin my 30 day shred challenge, here are my stats, as well as a VERY embarrassing admission of what I ate yesterday. Oh Lord!

Bust = 38in
Ribcage = 36 in
Waist (Smallest Part) = 31in
Waistline = 36in
Hips = 41in
Thighs = 21in
Calves = 16in
Upper Arms = 12in
Start weight = 160lbs (yikes – my normal maintaining weight is 154lbs). I am 5”8 with a medium sized frame in case anyone was wondering.

Clothes size – I used to get away with a 10-12* up top and a 12* on the bottom, but now I am really pushing it with my wardrobe and estimate that I have gone up a size all over. Even my ‘fat jeans’ have now become my ‘wear every day jeans’. (*UK sizes as I am in the UK at the moment).

FYI – someone of my height should be between 122-164lbs with an ideal weight of 143lbs – so with my last weigh-in at 160lbs I am freaked out.

My body goals – Trim it, tone it and make it tight.

Arms – firstly and most importantly I’d like leaner and toned upper arms. I have always struggled in other areas and have learnt to ‘deal with those bits’, but my upper arms have had a mind of their own recently and my Bingo wings are now so bad I could forgo gaining more air miles and instead, fly around the world on my own. These arms of mine actually feel disgusting on me.

I have always wanted leaner legs, they are quite long which I like, but for me a little too chunky, that plus a 3 inch scar from a melanoma on my left calf, I think it’d be a bit of a treat for my self confidence to feel a little prouder of my pins.

A flatter and more toned tummy would be nice – what woman doesn’t want that?

Finally to the bottom of things – as it has expanded, I like my butt to be a bit perkier and stave off the flat-bum that is trying to overwhelm me.

So all in all, pretty much a standard text book answer for my body wish list. Yeah, I wanna look like this!

Reckon I could do it with the 30 day shred challenge!? Ha! Maybe with a 300 day challenge it could be done.

What I ate yesterday.

Breakfast – 2 slices of toast with peanut butter
Lunch – Tuna, Anchovy and Caper Spaghetti (portion about the size of a sweet potato)
Snack – Packet of Ready Salted Hula Hoops
Dinner – 4 small slices of Pizza (Sweet Chilli Chicken + BBQ Chicken flavours) plus oven chips
3 cups of Decaffeinated Coffee, with Milk
3 Large Glasses of Water (pint glasses)

I know this list is shocking and when you actually SEE it you feel dreadful.  Mr. S usually picks up various items of fruit with the groceries but he forgot them this time and I was also limited in what I could take to work for lunch as the cupboards were a bit bare, so I had leftovers from the night before (the spaghetti).

I guess it is safe to say that it can only get better from here. Especially as I have the eyes of the internet on me.

So here is the obligatory BEFORE PICTURES – can’t believe I am doing this! #cringe

I will also put up a picture every 10 days so that it can be compared as I move through the program.

I only told Mr. S last night about the fact that I am embarking on my own 30 day shred challenge and he suggested I reduce my carbs as much as I can. Do you think that is a good idea or not? I am in two minds about it.

If you have any advice for me about the 30 day shred, have you done it, or indeed any other toning/losing weight tips please share them in the comments – I’d really appreciate it.

Wish me luck and check back if you want to see how I get on.  Dont forget to follow me over there <—- on the sidebar, its looking a little bare!

So here it is to my 30 Day Shred Challenge.

Can you really learn Ballet as an adult, and what are the benefits of a ballet conditioning workout?

Firstly, I must say that it is quite unethical for me to ‘recommend’ and review something after only one use, but I tried this Ballet Conditioning workout for the first time at home last night and oh my! Get me some smelling salts!! I actually enjoyed doing it.

I can really ‘feel’ it today too. Home workouts, or workouts of any sort at all are not really my ‘thing’, but going through this DVD, I didn’t feel as though I was working out at any point. No stupid jumping about, or hard routines to keep up with. Ballet Conditioning workouts don’t actually make you feel like you are ‘working out’, and I didn’t even break a sweat.

You just stand there, with a chair, watching a lovely put together DVD and learn ballet conditioning moves – of course, you need to copy what the instructor is doing, but it is in no way hard to pick up.  Although you may reach a ‘breaking point’ her reassurances are great, namely “It doesn’t matter if your leg is an inch or a metre off the floor, the fact that you are trying is what matters – you will improve”.  What a breath of fresh air, it certainly beats hearing ripped gym instructions telling me “come on, 10 more reps, you can do it lazy, feel the burn”. No. Thank. You.

I want to do a proper review later to report my results and whether I kept it up. For now, I will leave you with the synopsis of the DVD, and a glowing review from a fellow ballet conditioning student.

Product Description

Ballet Dancers always have slender bodies that are both strong and lean with lovely proportion and gorgeous body lines. One of the greatest secrets to a dancer’s body is ballet conditioning which focuses on all muscle groups. In this unique program your muscles will work smoothly in unison to create a long streamlined silhouette with flat abs a lean lower body and beautifully defined curves.

Moving gracefully and fluidly through this series of ballet conditioning exercises you will strengthen and stretch your way to a dancers body. Elise Gulan has over 18 years in dance education including Ballet Pointe Tap and Jazz. She was a principal soloist for the Virginia Ballet Company where she danced for seven years appearing in productions such as Copelia Swan Lake and Nutcracker Suite. She brought her love of expression through movement to her new career as a certified personal trainer and instructor of Yoga Core Fusion® and Core Energy Flow®. Elise enjoys helping her students to find their inner strength and to energize their joy of life through physical and mental fitness.

A glowing review from another ‘student’, courtesy of Amazon.com

“D Rock”

5*****

“For someone that has tried just about every home workout genre out there. This DVD finally offers something that is refreshingly new to my living room! This workout is ideal for those who have danced for years and people that have never even tried on a pair of ballet slippers. The DVD is simple to pick up, and challanging to get through. The filming is elegant and the instruction is far from the cheesy power workout “motivation” that irritate me so much. After you’ve completed this workout, you feel like you’ve, not only toned up, but also learned a few things! For someone that has grown tired of the home workout video, this couldn’t have come at a better time”!

You can check out more reviews by clicking the image below, Element Ballet Conditioning is currently retailing for around $7.99 / £4.99, which is a bargain when you compare it to the cost of a gym membership!

USA: UK:

Here is a great “Ballet Bible” I found written by a Ballerina, which helps to further your ballet conditioning technique. It is especially good if you would like to take your dancing further, and even greater if you live no where near a dance studio and want to ‘teach yourself’ at home, or can’t bear the thought of going to an adult dance class.

Let me know what you think if you try it out, or indeed, if you have tried this ballet conditioning dvd already.

If you do decide to try ballet conditioning as a workout, just try not to be too perfect!

Why the bee should be your best friend during hay fever season, how honey, a shower and a good room ionizer can help your symptoms.

As a child I suffered terribly with hayfever. I was an outdoorsy kid who liked to climb trees and explore the local woodlands with my best friend, but come summertime that would all change.

I turned into a nightmare child, grumpy, fed up, short tempered and well, puffy.

My Mom would keep me indoors under lock and key to avoid yet another trip to the Doctor, or even the ER.

I was even hospitalized once because my airways and eyes had closed up (admittedly, this was after a particularly fun game of my friends and I throwing freshly mowed grass at each other).

My Mom would have to put drops in my eyes twice a day, which I hated with a passion, petroleum jelly was applied to the inside of my nostrils to trap the pollen, cold washcloths applied to my swollen eyes, and a shower twice a day to rid my hair of the. dreaded. itchy. hellish. forsaken. pollen.

I’ve researched and put into practice some alternative hay fever relief methods, and hardly have to use modern medicine now. My methods work for me, and they may work for you too……

I still swear by a few of the old methods but have cut out a vast majority of the ‘drugs’. I wash my hair twice a day to get rid of the pollen. I keep doors shut to my bedroom to keep the pollen out. Sunglasses are a must-have item, and rather un-glamorously, I still put a but of petroleum jelly just inside my nostrils on bad days.

And this is my best friend.

Click for details on the Honeywell Air Purifier

It is absolutely fantastic for keeping the air in my home free of pollen, well 99% as the product states anyway. I feel a massive difference when I come inside during the summer and I get a great night’s sleep. Something I never did during hay fever season before these were invented. It even seems to cool the air temperature a little too.

I’d like to personally thank the inventor. I love you. I owe so much to you. You are the master at defeating hay fever. That is all.

You can click on the Ionizer image above to see more reviews and why this one gets my vote.

The eye wash and bath still comes out on particularly bad days when I have been outside. On worse days I just do not want to venture outside nor open windows.

Under a microscope, pollen looks charming – little spiky balls like those used in Pilates classes. Up the nose, however, it is such a menace that I dread the coming of summer. Dry, sunny days when the pollen count is high makes my nose run and eyes stream.

Most of the remedies for hay fever aren’t very attractive either. You can lock yourself indoors next to an air-conditioning unit, feel drowsy on anti-histamines, or worry about what steroids are doing to your body. So, swallowing a spoonful of honey, what this ‘pollen’ turns into, is a delightful alternative and nicer than swallowing a pill.

I’ve heard that thousands of people swear by it, saying that a spoonful a day, starting well before the pollen season, has transformed their lives. The principle behind it is desensitization. The pollen that bees collect is the heavy-grained variety that doesn’t cause problems.

But, honey being sticky, it may also contain small amounts of the lighter, wind-blown pollens that inflame the lining of the nose and eyes – euch! These are mainly from grass and trees such as birch, which normally begin to blossom around the third week of April and trigger allergies in a quarter of hay-fever sufferers according to medical statistics. That’s a lot of miserable people then!?

Officially, there is no evidence to back-up the claim that eating honey can reduce the effects of hayfever, but being into alternative therapies and natural remedies, I think there is some benefit. It’s like building up immunity, it may be that the body builds up a reaction to any pollen, or it could be psychosomatic.

I usually put my honey, whether runny or grained on my choice of breakfast. Runny on toast, and grained, sprinkled on cereals. Or add runny honey to your dessert option, and source recipes that call for honey.

Honey and mustard roasted chicken salad anyone?

Honey is also a great sugar alternative for kids too, and it may prove beneficial to add this to their diet to reduce allergies. I wish my Mom had known this way back when….

Most commercial pots of honey contain imported honey – unless stated. But, try to find your local beekeepers, with a little effort you can spot “Honey for sale” signs by the roadside. Farmers’ markets are another good source. Or check out the Beekeeper Association website for your nearest honey-making location.

Don’t worry if you are a city dweller either, it doesn’t matter too much if the hive is on your doorstep, because the flora will be fairly similar throughout large areas and locations.

If you want to see whether it works for you, start now; don’t wait till you start sneezing. And if it doesn’t work, honey can do little harm – except, perhaps, to your waistline!